All posts in Mindfulness

Is Your Success Draining Your Happiness?

Is Your Success Draining Your Happiness?

I am a health coach, not a business coach, but in the process of working with people to help them achieve whole-person wellbeing, I’ve learned the importance of knowing clients’ personal and professional goals — especially at times of transition in their lives. Looking at work-life balance, financial goals and personal growth is an important part in helping people succeed in improving their health.

Most of them want success more than anything else in their life. And will work very hard to get it. However, once they achieve the goal, sustaining it usually is even more challenging. Why is this?

Oftentimes, once someone succeeds or has great privileges, their focus shifts. Rather than continuing to work on the goal, one indulges in the benefits.  This, unfortunately, hinders further growth and continued happiness.

Take exercise for instance with a client.  She typically can achieve an exercise program five times a week for few months, but then life gets busy and she quits. She can no longer find the time. That certainly is not the way to go about losing weight. And she is discouraged that brisk walking for 30 minutes burns only 100 calories.  She decides the effort is not worth the gain on a long-term basis even though it initially increased her energy and helped make her feel better about herself.  Or she may decide that the pressure she puts on herself to maintain success is too stressful. The effort seems to be more like punishment than enjoyment.

Lasting success comes from consistency. When you are consistently aware of your “why,” you will continue to be motivated to maintain then further your success. You will say “no” to all temptations and distractions no matter how enticing they may be.  Your “life vision” becomes far more important than a short-lived gratification. It’s like eating ice cream even though you know it’s not good for you. Yet you eat it anyway because you think it will ease your stress or help you get over a tiring day at work. It’s a sad irony.

Success versus Achievement

There is a subtle difference between success and achievement. Success is a feeling you have about how you are doing at something and why you are doing it. Achievement is a positive, objective measure about what you have accomplished.

Success is more important than achievement. You can win an award and yet still not “feel” successful.  I was a top producer as a real estate agent. I received all the trimmings for my success.  But inwardly I did not feel successful. I lost the “why” regarding my life vision. Now I’m fulfilled in my work. And you can be too!

Another example:  Your doctor says you must lose 15-25 pounds for your health. (Note: Obesity is the second largest contributor behind tobacco use to developing chronic diseases so prevalent today, including diabetes, cancer, Alzheimer’s and autoimmune deficiency).  Your health-care provider might say it’s important to lose weight, but it really doesn’t sink in if you don’t understand why.  So find your “why,” and allow it to help you work towards success. Once there, remember what it took to reach the goal and never back away.

Learning how to focus on what’s right for success in your health and well-being is easier than you think. Would you like to have a wellness breakthrough session with me? There you will learn the five things that may be getting in your way of achieving lasting success in your life, business and health.

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Spirituality Is More Than Religion

Spirituality Is More Than Religion

So what is important to you in your life? Are you living in a way that fulfills your purpose? And what does this have to do with being happier and healthier? The answer may be as simple as understanding your spirituality and how it benefits your health.

For many people spirituality — which does not necessarily mean religious belief — is at the core of their being. It is the lens through which they experience life and see the world. Understanding spirituality in the context of optimal health is extremely important.

For many people spirituality gets at the heart of what is important to them. Some may want to be healthy for health’s sake or to feel more alive and happy. But for many people, achieving optimal health is important because it ties in to their deepest values and beliefs and it brings them overriding joy and happiness in the present moment and throughout their lives.  Understanding this and refocusing on it daily often leads to sustaining healthy behaviors for a lifetime.

For others, spirituality provides a sense of strength and healing during times of adversity, illness or death. Through the healing process people often draw on their spirituality to make more sense of the adversity.

There has been a great deal of interest in recent decades in understanding the impact spiritualty has on one’s health. Research has shown the positive relationship between health and religious practice as well as meditation, an understanding of humanism and living according to tenets of a well-defined morality.

It is unquestionable now that when people live their lives with a sense of meaning and higher purpose, their health improves. They have lower inflammation and increased immunity and therefore less heart disease, strokes and other complications from chronic diseases.  Which by the way, has now been determined to be the No. 1 killer in society today.

Having a good sense of purpose makes you more resilient and better able to deal with the stress and demands of life. Living with a sense of purpose and meaning doesn’t merely help you get through an adverse time, but also improves your health.

So how does one determine what his or her purpose in life is?   It can come from knowing you are helping others, serving a greater purpose or excelling at a skill or craft that is meaningful to you.  So regularly ask yourself these questions to explore the role of spiritually in your vision of obtaining optimal health.

  1. What does it look like when I am spirituality centered and devoting my time and energy to the things that reflect my deepest values?
  2. What would need to happen for me to feel “successful”?
  3. Am I cultivating a daily practice of present awareness so I live my life in a more spiritually focused way?
  4. Once you define your sense of purpose and have cultivated an awareness of that purpose on a regular basis, you need to sustain that awareness so it further impacts your life and health. Do you believe and trust in yourself to be able to reach these goals over the long haul?

Of course you can with the proper attitude and accountability.  You can bring yourself joy, live longer and be happier in the process.

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Giving up on your goals does not mean you are lazy

Giving up on your goals does not mean you are lazy

We are in an exciting time in life. Just as we had the beginning of the digital revolution at the end of the last century, we are now experiencing a personal transformation revolution.  It’s about becoming healthier, happier and living your own life with purpose. But better health and positive change won’t come unless you know what you’re doing.

Here are five steps to help you begin your own journey on the road to personal development:

  1. Set goals: The first step to living the way you want is to set goals for each part of your life. Those would be your health, career, finances, spirituality and family, but not necessary in that order. Setting separate goals in each area of your life allows you to prioritize what you want to achieve so you can increase your chances of doing so.

However, if you are like most people, you set goals but fail to achieve them because they are too vague. When I work with my health coaching clients, one of the things we work on is setting SMART goals. So what is a SMART goal?

S — Specific: If you want to lose weight, for example, you need to specify how much.

M — Measurable: The easier it is to track your progress, the better your chance of attaining it. “If you don’t measure it, you can’t improve it,” said Lord Kelvin.  Tracking your food intake is one way to do this and makes it less difficult to determine if extra efforts are in order in case you experience a setback or come up short on the progress you desire.

A — Achievable: Although you should aim high, make sure your goals are still achievable and action-oriented.

R — Realistic: While some goals are achievable, they might not be realistic for this moment in time. An example might be you have decided to do a marathon but you have not even run a mile yet. Running is realistic, but you might want to start by building up to running a marathon by completing a 5k (3.1 miles) or a 10k (6.2 miles) race first.

T — Time-based: Setting a deadline will help you remain focused and ensure you stay on track. Using the same example above, you might say, “starting June 1 I will begin jogging and complete a 5k race by Sept. 1, 2017.”

  1. Create an action plan: Once you’ve set your goals and have written them down, create an action plan on how to achieve them. What activities do you need to do to achieve your goals? If you have a long-term goal, break it down into small steps to make it manageable. Don’t forget to track your progress so you can look back and pat yourself on the back every time you move one step closer to your goal.
  2. Make time for growth activities: Even though life is very busy, it’s vital that you make time for yourself and your own personal growth. Take 15 minutes to read, learn, or listen to a podcast. Wake up 15 minutes earlier to read or write in your journal. If mornings are tough for you, block out 15 minutes during the day or before you go to bed at night. Whenever you chose is up to you but make sure to try and do it daily.
  3. Adopt a positive mindset: Optimists are more likely to enjoy and succeed in life than people who always see the negative in a situation. Fill your head with positive information and people. Before long you too will have a sunnier disposition and all the health benefits that come with it.
  4. Keep a journal: Journaling allows you to keep a record of your progress. It helps you learn from the challenges you face and your triumphs and everything in between. I personally like to have two journals going at all times, a gratitude and goal journal. Writing everything down gives me a chance to reflect on my journey, embrace the challenges and savor the joyful moments along the way to the destination.

If you have already set your goals and accomplished them you are in good shape. Give yourself a pat on the back. Even though there is no special prize, if you have managed to do it by yourself, you’ve learned it takes longer and with more mistakes.

However, have you tried to succeed alone and failed? Health coaching can help you dive a little deeper. I know the reason that people lose weight but never seem to keep it off. People THINK that the reason they give up exercise is that they’re lazy but there’s a surprising reason they don’t stick with it. Meditation is something one can use to relieve stress; I know what it takes to cultivate a daily practice with little effort. People feel they should be restricting calories and avoiding certain foods to eat a healthy diet and are shocked when that’s not the case. Would you like to have a wellness breakthrough session with me? You’ll discover the top 5 things that can get in the way of your health goals, and the #1 thing you need to move forward.

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Guest Post: What Does Wellness Mean in Today’s Chaotic World

Guest Post: What Does Wellness Mean in Today’s Chaotic World

By: Guest Blogger Cassie from ehealthinformer.com

What Does Wellness Mean in Today’s Chaotic World?

 

It seems like today’s world is constantly in motion. Everything is instant, and it feels like attention spans get shorter every day. Amidst all this commotion, it can be hard to know when we’re okay and when we’re not. This confusion leads us to ask, what does wellness mean in today’s world?

 

Any time we talk about “today’s world” we must discuss the impacts of the digital revolution. Having so much technology in our lives has its advantages and disadvantages. On the one hand, accessing information and communicating with people can be done in the blink of an eye, but on the other hand, we now seem hooked to devices many of us lived without for many years. It shouldn’t be a secret that all this time spent in front of screens isn’t the best for our well-being.

 

So, how can we find wellness and peace of mind amongst this chaos? Can it be achieved, and if so, how? In today’s article, I’ll outline what wellness means to me in this crazy, connected world, and I will offer some strategies to help you remain calm, peaceful, active and, most importantly, well.

 

Leisure Time

 

One of the consequences of such a high-tech, chaotic world is that work and leisure time can easily mix.  You’ve probably noticed how many people like to discuss their work problems when they are supposed to be relaxing. This really isn’t a great idea; it only creates more stress.

 

So, in today’s world, wellness means having time for you to do what you want to do. Take the time to do things you enjoy with people who fill you with positive emotions, and try as best as you can to leave work and other stresses behind. You don’t want them ruining these precious “you” moments. Being able to truly disconnect is a great step towards achieving wellness in the hectic world we live in.

 

Being Active

 

For as crazy and chaotic as the world is, it seems like we still spend a lot of time sitting down. Breaking out of this and moving around is a big part of achieving wellness. Engaging in active pastimes fills us with positive emotions, both during and after we do them.

 

It seems, though, nowadays a lot of us associate being active with an obligation. We need to go to the gym or have to go for a jog. Well, it doesn’t need to be this way, and finding ways to be active should go hand in hand with doing things you like. You could go for nature walks or strolls around your neighborhood and get the same benefits you would get from other types of exercise.

 

Being active allows stress to work its way out of the body. Tension is lessened through muscle movement—this is why activities such as yoga are great practice for self-improvement, as well as your physical health. So, in today’s world, wellness can be achieved by breaking up the routine and moving around. It’s not about reaching certain weight loss goals or looking a certain way, but rather about getting out there and experiencing joy and happiness with yourself and your loved ones.

 

Peace of Mind

 

Peace of mind is essential for letting go of nerves, worries or feelings of anxiety. In today’s “chaotic” world, achieving peace of mind can be a real challenge with all the different sources of stress. But what would wellness be without a calm and peaceful mind? Would it be worth pursuing?

 

These days the more peace of mind you can give yourself the better, and you can achieve it in a variety of different ways. For example, you can make to-do lists for the things you need to get done so that you don’t get overwhelmed with what you have on your plate. Or, you could keep a journal and write down what worries you—it’s like venting to a friend all the time. Another thing you could do is install a secure network
on your computer and other devices to not have to worry about things like identity theft or hackers. It seems like a small thing, but when it comes to peace of mind, everything counts. If it is something that could stress you out or worry you, find a solution, for achieving peace of mind and wellness in today’s world come hand-in-hand.

 

When thinking about wellness in today’s world, remember that the world you see on the outside is usually a reflection of how you feel on the inside. Therefore, making time for leisure, being active and working to achieve peace of mind will help make the world seem less chaotic, help you feel less stressed and make achieving wellness much easier.

 

Author bio: Cassie is a health and tech blogger who is passionate about wellness and well-being. She blogs for ehealthinformer.com.

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Has Stress Zapped Your Joy From Life?

Has Stress Zapped Your Joy From Life?

We all have stress, but one of the best ways to manage it is to first become aware of it. To help build your awareness of stress and its impact on your life, try the practice of “mindfulness.”

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Start Your New Year Off Right With Mindfulness

Start Your New Year Off Right With Mindfulness

Happy New Year!  By now, everyone has been into 2017 for two days. That’s two days into the new goals, resolutions and intentions for yourself this year. One that has been on my list for a couple of years has resurfaced again…. a formal meditation practice.  Most of us know nowadays that meditation is a good thing. But so far I have not been able to stick with it because I’ve allowed myself to become too busy too often.  But this year will be different. I’ve decided to do the following:

  1. Start small, meditating only 3-5 minutes (or less if need be).  Slowly take one deep breath in and think, “I receive life.” Exhale slowly and think, “Life is good.” Then repeat for at least two more rounds and you will be energized significantly because more oxygen has entered your blood stream than usual. The longer and slower you do this, the more alive you will feel.
  2. Understand that this simple breathing exercise reduces stress, calms anxiety, erases irritability and clears your mind.  The process is called “mindfulness,” which at first seems contradictory.  “Mindlessness” is more like it because your goal is to clear your head of all thoughts except for breathing and exhaling.  This increases your resilience to stress and induces a calming effect on your nervous system, thus erasing anxiety.

This makes sense given that meditation allows you to focus on breathing in and breathing out while everything else that clouds your mind disappears. If you feel that your mind is drifting, simply go back to thinking only about breathing in and breathing out.

  1. Understand the principles of meditation. Beginning meditators often think the goal is to get to the point that they can focus without becoming distracted. That goal is difficult. Instead become aware that your mind has drifted, redirect your attention back to your point of focus without criticizing or judging yourself.
  2. Do meditation in your own way. It’s alright to do more while concentrating on your breathing. Some people find that a walking meditation is the way to go. This increases your heart rate and distributes more oxygen throughout your system. Jogging is even better. Just remember to stay focused on your breathing. If your attention drifts to past, future or evaluative thoughts, remind yourself that you’re breathing in life and exhaling the phrase, “life is good.”
  3. Do away with all-or-nothing thinking. If you can’t do 30 minutes of meditation, then do 15. The idea is to learn how to clear your mind and focus only on your breathing. On those days when you have more time, you can gradually build up to 30 minutes if that’s your preference.

Doing at least 15 minutes of a formal practice when you begin meditation will allow you to try different types of meditation. It will also increase your comfort and familiarity with meditation so you can restart a formal practice if you’re going through a period of stress or overthinking.

I am only one week into it right now, with a goal of continuing to do so at least three times a week throughout January. Won’t you join me?

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How Chocolate Can Alleviate Anxiety & Stress

How Chocolate Can Alleviate Anxiety & Stress

It’s OK to eat chocolate, but do so BEFORE you get uptight. Also, check the label to make sure it’s not loaded with milk and sugar.

Research has shown that obese women have higher levels of cortisol than those who maintain a healthy weight. Cortisol triggers the accumulation of fat, especially around organs and the abdomen, which can contribute to depression, heart disease and stroke. Yet a 2009 study found that people who ate 40 grams (1 ounce) of dark chocolate every day for two weeks saw a decrease in their cortisol levels. Another study in 2010 found that people who ate chocolate over the course of 30 days lowered their levels of anxiety.

But, timing is everything. Be sure to eat the right kind of chocolate before — not after — the onset of anxiety or stress. Those who ate chocolate in response to stress generally felt just as depressed after their chocolate fix as they did before. Their depressed feelings lasted approximately three minutes, which was long enough for them to reach for more chocolate.

Eating chocolate regularly in small amounts at the right time allows your body to slowly build up levels of polyphenols, which are antioxidants that regulate stress hormones. So, remember to slow down when consuming chocolate, and savor it is small doses for the best results.

Also remember to choose dark chocolate over milk chocolate because milk blocks your body’s ability to absorb the antidepressant antioxidants (polyphenols). So to make chocolate healthy food, you should eat it with at least 70% cocoa. The higher the percentage, the better it is for you. If the percentage it not clearly labeled on the wrapper, you should probably stay away from it.

It’s best to limit yourself to 40 grams of “good” chocolate a day. Divide the bars into servings about the size of the end joint of your thumb for best results. Eating more than 40 grams has no added benefit.

Eat the right kind of chocolate (70 percent and up) “mindfully,” as I like to say. Don’t’ chew or suck on it. Let it sit on your tongue and melt slowly. This causes the flavor to linger and tricks your brain into thinking you are eating the entire time. Mindful eaters are far less likely to overindulge.

If you don’t like the taste of low-sugar, dark chocolate, try adding cocoa powder (not Dutch chocolate, which has been heavily processed) to your foods. Add a few tablespoons to your morning oatmeal or other low-sugar cereals. Hot chocolate is good too, but make sure you use almond milk or soymilk, thus avoiding dairy fat. But limit yourself to eight tablespoons of cocoa powder a day.

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Relax, take a trip, enjoy!

Baby Boomers vacation
Just the thought of another South Carolina summer wears me out. It may be debatable about what is causing more and more heat year after year, but there is no doubt in my mind that climate change is real.

My husband and I are rejuvenated every summer when we take a short up I-26 to the mountains. Not only do we have fun together, traveling also is healthy — physically and spiritually. Let’s take a closer look at the benefits:

Studies show that people — especially men — are less likely to have a heart attack if they take at least one vacation per year. One nine-year study of 12,000 men found that those who took a well-planned trip were 30 percent less likely to have major heart problems.

Leaving town on a pleasant vacation is also a great way to kick the blues, and women appear to benefit most for this, studies show. There are several ways to fight depression, and travel is one of the most effective. I like to think of the mountains as one of only a few “thin places” on earth. A slow hike up a mountain obviously exercises my heart, and it is at the top where I feel closest to God.

Vacation travel reduces stress on you as well as your mate, not only during the trip, but well after you get back home. Studies of regular travelers show most are less bothered by stress hormones. (But not at airports, I might add.) Other studies show that workers who take pleasant trips have lower rates of absenteeism and burn out, plus higher productivity levels.

Travel is a learning experience, too, which is not only enjoyable but an excellent way to exercise your brain. New cultures, cuisines, sights and sounds combine to keep my memory sharp. How about you?

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Spirituality and Health

 

Spirituality comes naturally, and it is typically a very healthy activity. If you have found meaning, hope, comfort and inner peace in your life, you know what I’m talking about here. Spirituality is available to you through religion, music and art, nature, exercise and possession of a high sense of principle and morality.

Being a spiritual person is the ability to engage in any or all of these activities. It’s the key to health and happiness too. The mind, body and spirit are connected — and when synchronized properly, your overall wellness spikes. But like anything that’s worthwhile in your quest to get healthy and stay that way, being spiritual takes practice.

And you do not have to join a gym to find it. You can be outside or inside to practice spiritual health — anywhere that is quiet and comfortable, a place where prayer and meditation comes easily. Good spiritual health gives you a sense of wellbeing both physically and in your mind. It brings comfort and strength and will power to live you’re your life to the fullest.

How strong is your spiritual health? Do you want to strengthen it? If so, here are some ideas to consider:

— Take some time daily to practice meditation. Get comfortable and sit down in quiet, pleasant surroundings. Cross your legs like a yogi as best you can. Hold your hands palm-side up while resting your arms on your knees. Sit up straight and relax. Simply clear your mind by focusing only on your breathing initially. This should not be difficult. Every time a thought enters your mind, cut it off by returning your focus back to your breathing. Slowly take in a breath and slowly exhale.   Doing this regularly for about 20 minutes will give you a sense of inner peace, comfort, strength, love and connection.

— Do something good for others every day. Say “hello” when you pass a stranger. Hold a door for someone who needs a hand. Smile. These little things are acts of kindness, and they are very easy to do when you stop and think about it.

— Pray. Ask God to help you clear your mind of the senseless clutter that takes up valuable space in a place where goodness needs room to thrive.

— Read a good book about good people doing good things for themselves and for others.

— Learn about yoga and then give it a try.

— Sing if you can. If that’s a problem, take some lessons. It’s never too late to learn how to sing. This will surely help your breathing too.

— Exercise and eat right. Your brain works better when you do.

— Talk to your doctor about the importance of spirituality as a way to deal with stress. Good ones know how important it is for getting healthy and staying that way.

— And always be respectful of others. Practice the Golden Rule.

 

PERSONAL NOTE: Do you need help with your health? Doctors typically find out what’s wrong when you’re feeling bad, then go about treating your symptoms. They are trained to determine your problem then treat it in some way with drug prescriptions and surgery and the like. They may advise you on how to get healthy. But a doctor’s time is limited. Ultimately, it’s up to you to follow through and make healthy changes to your life.

That’s where a wellness coach comes in. A wellness coach works with you one on one, or sometimes in groups, to understand your problem and determine what’s important to you. They help you develop an action plan and provide accountability to get you started with new habits that will last a lifetime.

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Get Smart with Exercise

Senior Man In Fitness Clothing Running Along Beach

Regular exercise is not only a young person’s game.  Studies show that as your age, getting a regular workout affects the brain in such a way that strengthens cognitive abilities.

How long do you exercise daily?   Do you wear a tracking device that records the number of steps you take each day?  If not, then consider buying one.  Fitbits and other brands are now available where ever sporting goods are sold.  An investment of  $100 to $150 for an easy-to-use tracker worn on your wrist is well worth the time and expense. You establish a goal — say, 10,000 steps (or about 5 miles) — and get going.  By the end of the day, your tracker tells you where you stand. But, remember, check with your doctor or health-care provider first to determine your daily goal.

Exercise is one of the most important things you can do to keep your body — and especially your brain — in good working order.  New studies show that people 65 and older who stay active, don’t smoke and eat healthy have less trouble remembering things.  And the more intense your daily exercise, the more your brain works as it should.  Again, be sure to check with your health-care provider to determine your maximum limit.

“Physical activity is an attractive option to reduce the burden of cognitive impairment in public health because it is low cost and doesn’t interfere with medications,” said Clinton B. Wright, MD, MS, of the University of Miami in Miami, Fla., and member of the American Academy of Neurology. “Our results suggest that moderate to intense exercise may help older people delay aging of the brain, but more research from randomized clinical trials comparing exercise programs to more sedentary activity is needed to confirm these results.”

Exercise in older people is associated with a slower rate of decline in thinking skills that occurs with aging. People who reported light to no exercise experienced a decline equal to 10 more years of aging as compared to people who reported moderate to intense exercise, according to Dr. Wright’s population-based observational study.

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